I don’t usually do this posting of personal stuff either but whatevs.
Doctors think I’ve torn my rotator cuff. Which has me in pain almost constantly.
I’m in a sling throughout my shift at work, and I’m feeling completely useless despite my coworkers assuring me otherwise. (They’re all really good people).
This whole injury has me finding myself anxious, depressed, and tired. I had a far worse set of injuries a few years back that had me contemplating suicide, and I’m feeling much the same now (not suicidal mind you, I’m quite over those thoughts) but regardless I feel like I’m letting people down and it feels like shit.
I’m having a really hard time sleeping, and my insomnia is starting to get worse. I have no real sleep schedule (I work nights and usually sleep during the day, but thanks to this injury that’s all thrown out the window.
On top of that, I’m finding it really hard to paint, mostly because my ADD meds have a side effect that can cause my hands to shake. (Thanks amphetamine). This just adds to my frustration.
And last, and prolly the most anxiety inducing bit, I’m facing down the fact that I’m going to be on my own next year and I still don’t have a degree or a career planned out. Basically, life. It’s scary.
Life sucks right now and I feel like shit.